Finding the right egg donor for the Intended parents

A big first step in your journey to parenthood as an LGBTQ single or couple is finding an egg donor. When you find your egg donor match, you will create embryos for your surrogate. What should you look for in an egg donor? How do you find the perfect egg donor? Read on for tips on how start the process of finding an egg donor.

Finding
the Right Egg Donor

Why Do I Need an Egg Donor?

There are two types of surrogacy: traditional surrogacy and gestational surrogacy. Traditional surrogacy (which is not usually practiced with surrogacy agencies) is when a woman is artificially inseminated to become pregnant. The woman shares biology with the baby.

The more common type of surrogacy is gestational surrogacy. Gestational surrogacy is the only family growing option for LGBTQ+ individuals and couples to have biological children. It’s a process that requires medical and legal expertise, as well as a strong emotional support throughout the journey. Through IVF, embryos are created in a lab at a fertility clinic, using the gay intended parents’ biology (one or both) as well as an egg donor. At the fertility clinic, 1-2 embryos are implanted into a gestational carrier, who carries the baby(ies) to term.

In gestational surrogacy, the surrogate has no genetic relationship to the child or children they deliver.

Surrogacy is an emotional and financial process to building the family of your dreams.

Is My Egg Donor and Surrogate the Same Person?

No. In a gestational surrogacy, the surrogate does not use her eggs (DNA) for the embryo(s) she carries. Instead, a second woman will be part of equation if you require a woman’s biology: an egg donor. A surrogate will never use her eggs in a gestational surrogacy; that is called traditional surrogacy and is not widely practiced.

Your egg donor will be one of the two special women in your life as you begin your journey to parenthood. Your egg donor has a big role in your family building: it will be her DNA that will make up half of the DNA in your child(ren).

Read on to see how to go about choosing an egg donor, what to look for in an egg donor and more.

How Do Gay Couples and Singles Find an Egg Donor?

Egg donors are kind and selfless women who agree to donate their eggs because they want help others have a family. Egg donors come from all over the United States, from all different ethnic, geographic and religious backgrounds. So how do you choose the right egg donor?

How Gay Men Choose Egg Donors

Some intended parents come to the egg donor selection process knowing what they are looking for, whether that is a physical attribute, a characteristic or a personality trait. But not everyone has an idea of what to look for in an egg donor. Here are some steps you can take as you start the egg donor matching process.

1. Create a list of qualities and characteristics you hope for in your child(ren).

This is a great place to start if you are starting to choose an egg donor. Some intended parents find it helpful to write down what they are hoping to see in their future child.

Physical appearance. This could be eye or hair color, height, skin tone or body shape or build.
Personality. Do you hope your child could be outgoing? Introverted? Optimistic?
Characteristics. Do you imagine your child to be athletic? Artistic? Intellectual?

Making of list of the types of characteristics and qualities you imagine in your future child can help to narrow down the type of donor for whom you are looking. If you are partnered, this is a great exercise to do separately and then compare notes. Doing this will allow each person to see what is important to the other. Hopefully your lists will have qualities in common that you can use as a starting point for your egg donor search.

2. Think about what is most important to you in an egg donor.

Now think about what is most important to you as you think about the woman who will donate her eggs so you can create your family. Here’s a short list of things to think about and prioritize:

Are you looking for someone values close family relationships?
Are you looking for someone who puts academics first?
Are you looking for someone who plays sports and is athletic? Musically inclined? Artistic?
Is physical appearance the most important trait you? A certain color hair or eyes?

There is no wrong or right way to approach finding an egg donor. Your list of qualities and what is most important is personal to you and your partner. There is zero judgement from Medipocket on what you’re looking for; our goal is to help you find the perfect donor match. We have had intended parents come to us and their one requirement has been hazel eyes, or an Ivy League school or proficient in the violin. You are creating your family.

3. Just start searching!

If you’re having trouble picturing your perfect donor match – or if you have lists in hand – we recommend that you start searching! If you register for Medipocket’s Donor Database (it’s free!) you can start to see the women who are ready to help you create your family. You can search by certain characteristics or qualities to narrow your search, or you can scroll through them all.

There’s no right or wrong way to search for a donor. Some intended parents need to search through a database to determine what they are not looking for in order to see what they are looking for in a donor. You may come across a donor that just speaks to you who does not mach what’s on your list but who seems perfect.

Tips for a Gay Singles or Couples Looking For an Egg Donor

An egg donor database like Medipocket’s is filled with hundreds of young, bright women ready to help LGBTQ+ singles and couples grow their families.

Each egg donor profile is filled with a tremendous amount of information on each donor. You’ll find physical details and characteristics, personality traits, her education, professions and health history, photos and videos. Each profile gives you a well-rounded view of who the woman is as a person, her goals and favorite foods and more.

An egg donor database can feel overwhelming at first. Here are some tips on how to go about finding an egg donor in an egg donor database:

Be flexible. Keep an open mind when searching for an egg donor. If you have very specific criteria (and lots of them), the chances of you finding a donor who meets every single trait can be slim. The “perfect” donor, is a young woman who is perfect for you. When you do find your “perfect” egg donor, you should also identify a few other “almost perfect” donors, should your first choice not be available. (Or, if you do move forward with your first choice and she isn’t medically cleared or doesn’t produce enough eggs, you will need to look for a new donor, so it’s good to have a few on your short list.)

Don’t forget: nature vs nurture! While looking at a database can help you imagine what your future child will be like, remember that not every characteristic or quality is hereditary. You may see this in your own family: a brother or sister who has a darker complexion or lighter hair, or who possess a talent that no one else does. Who your child grows up to be is also influenced by your community and how s/he is raised.

Finding the Right Egg Donor